By the time their child starts school, many SEND parents have spent years advocating for their child.
Being a parent of a child with SEND often involves explaining their child’s needs to different people, navigating complex systems and feeling unheard by their support networks. As a result, too many parents expect the relationship with school to be adversarial rather than supportive.
However, schools can reassure parents that their experience with primary school will be different. These are some of the approaches we take to support SEND families throughout their child’s primary school journey.
1. Listen to parents’ concerns from the start
The prospect of starting school can be daunting for SEND parents. They might be worried that their child is a picky eater, unfamiliar with routines, struggles with communication or is not yet toilet trained, and are likely to want very frequent updates on how their child is settling in.
That’s something we completely understand, so we run through all the options parents have for communicating with us, before their child even starts school.
I find that a conversation over coffee with new parents is the best way for me to gain an insight into what’s worrying parents the most, so I can address their concerns straight away. Where face-to-face conversations are not possible, it is important to offer other accessible ways to communicate with us.
We have quite a few parents who don’t see us at the school gates every day because their child travels on school transport. So we encourage these parents to contact us using the channels that work best for them, whether that’s via an email message, online journal or phone call.
These initial communications give us essential knowledge about a child so we can give them the best start at school. If a parent tells me their child is sensitive to sudden loud noises, needs short, structured movement breaks, or prefers to eat their lunch in a quiet environment, I can explain how our setting will make the necessary adjustments.
Often, parents are not looking for immediate solutions, they just want to know that they have been heard. They understand we will work closely with them to support their child right from the start.
2. Keep parents involved in their child’s school day
Having built parents’ trust early, schools are well placed to develop a strong partnership with parents all through their child’ time with us.
When a child has had a disturbed night, a missed breakfast or sensory overload on the way to school, it’s likely to have an impact on the child’s day, leaving parents to worry until home time. But if parents have an easy way to let you know they’ve had a challenging morning, you can put measures in place to help.
Arranging for the child to start the school day with a soft landing – whether that’s some quiet time with calming activities, or a slightly later arrival time – it not only helps the child adjust to the safety and structure of school, it also puts the parent’s mind at rest.
It’s important to use communication channels which are convenient for parents and teachers alike. One way we do this is by creating an online journal in which everyone in the team recordssnapshots of the children’s day for the teacher to approve. This might be a photo of a child working towards their targets, or a quick post about how the child made a new friend in the playground.
The journals don’t take up too much of our time, but they allow parents to tap on their phone and see that their child is busy, smiling and learning. It also means that parents don’t need to call us throughout the day to check their child is happy and settled.
The short yet frequent updates are great conversation starters when the child is back at home. Parents can say: “I saw the amazing model you made at school today,” or “did you have fun playing with the sensory tray this morning?”
Families share ideas with us too. For example, one parent posted that their child with ADHD had benefited from spending time with horses. This inspired us to look into running equine therapy for some of our students. This had a profound effect on their emotional regulation, and helped the children to understand how their own emotional energy affects the animals.
3. Help families with transitions and change
Parents particularly welcome their close connections with us during times of change.
One of the biggest changes at primary school is when a child moves into a new class and meets a new teacher. It can be challenging for the parent too, particularly if they have built a strong relationship with the previous teacher, who has helped their child to thrive.
We usually manage a change of teacher with a series of face-to-face get-togethers with the children and their parents. However, recently we had to take a different approach.
One of our staff members was going on maternity leave, and the replacement teacher was out of the country, and not able to meet families until the start of term. To make the transition run smoothly, we shared some fun facts about the children with the new teacher, and arranged for her to make a video where she spoke to the children, called them by name, and told them how much she was looking forward to meeting them.
To accompany this, we designed a social story which explained to the children about what would happen when they met their new teacher, using short, simple and reassuring steps.
The children enjoyed watching the video and reading the social story with their parents, and it made a big change much easier to manage for the whole family.
4. Enable parents to build connections with each other
Being the parent of a child with SEND can be a lonely experience. In a mainstream setting,SEND parents may find their child is less likely to be included in social opportunities, extracurricular activities or birthday celebrations, which can leave families feeling isolated from their wider community.
Schools have a valuable role to play in reducing isolation and helping to build a community where families can support one another. This might explain why, in a recent VenturEd Solutions survey, school leaders agreed that creating a sense of community is one of the most important aspects of parental engagement.
One way we help parents make those all-important connections, is by holding regular SEND coffee mornings during which we invite professionals such as educational psychologists and speech and language therapists to meet with parents. These provide opportunities for parents toget together and link up on social media or WhatsApp groups.
Informal school events also help to make parents feel less alone. One such event was our Mother’s Day breakfast, during which children invited the important women in their lives to celebrate together. It was simple to arrange, yet everyone felt a strong sense of community. The atmosphere was relaxed and positive, and parents valued the opportunity to connect with others who understood their experiences.
One of our parents recently made a comment which seems to sum up what schools can do to create a supportive environment for parents.
“As a SEND parent, the unknown is so anxiety inducing. Our experience at school has shown us there is a middle ground. The staff are approachable and open, and they treat me as a partner rather than an annoyance when I have a concern. I can contact them and my concerns do not feel dismissed. My anxiety hasn’t vanished, but I know my concerns are met with transparency.”
When SEND parents understand that their child’s primary school journey will be one of trust, connection and community, they will truly feel heard and supported.
Alison Eason is Head of the Additionally Resource Provision, Chalgrove Primary School and is a contributor to a VenturEd Solutions report on parental engagement.
